Welcome to the Domain of the Evil F*cking Wizard!!!!

The official website of Caleb Gileno (the 5'7 Legend)

Hi this is an alien. He says hi too.

Hello I am Caleb. Welcome to my super cool and amazing website. Julian says hello too. He is sitting next to me.

Get ready to delve into my dark and twisted reality >:) *evil laugh*

I'm from Cynthiana Kentucky! (the hometown of Robert Kirkman, the dude who wrote Invincible and the Walking Dead!!)

I take 40 mg of Vyvanse every day!

I am a biology major!!

My partner's name is Reese. She's really funny and cool. She believes in all this weird shit. I met her at Walmart. She was working in the tech department. I was looking for penny items (Julian said I should tell you guys what a penny item is, FINE, penny items are products and stuff that are marked down to 1 penny to let the workers know that is supposed to be taken off the shelves but sometimes they are left on the shelves if the workers are bad at their jobs and then I come and try to buy it for 1 penny and the workers usually tell me no I can't do it but I'm really really persistent so they usually let me buy it anyway). I found a TV that was marked down to a penny. I brought it to the tech checkout where Reese was working. She told me that I couldn't have it. I wanted it really badly. We argued for a while. I asked her about the pins on her lanyard. We started talking about Super Smash Bros. She said that she could be beat me at Super Smash Bros and I said that there was no way that she could beat me, I'm like the best. We started playing it on the Nintendo Switch display. If I won I could buy the TV for a penny but if she won I had to buy her Tears of the Kingdom. This stupid little kid was waiting to play it but we were serious. This was a death match. This was war. She beat the shit out of me and it was honestly embarrassing. The little kid laughed at me. I bought her Tears of the Kingdom and she invited me over to play it after her shift. Unfortunately, we never actually got around to playing it that night (we had sex instead and it was very nice). Then we started like dating and stuff.

My Friends >:)

Julian - I'll start with Julian because he's sitting next to me. Julian is really smart and has cool hair. Most of it is black but it has like a white streak through it (Julian says it's called "poliosis," it's called poliosis everybody). He wears glasses. He reads a lot and talks about computer stuff. He majors in computer science so I guess that would make sense. He's funny but in like a smart way. He really likes Dr. Who and the Twilight Zone. Julian told me to say that his favorite movie is Synecdoche New York. What a nerd!

Clancy - I'll do Clancy next because he's in the other room. Hold on. Let me go get him. Okay I got Clancy. He is grumpy because he was taking a nap. Clancy wants me to tell everybody that he is not grumpy, he just values his sleep. Clancy is cool. He's a philosophy major. So is Julian but Clancy is just a philosophy major. He likes to read too. He talks about computers too, but in like a different way then Julian. He likes to find weird stuff online and put it on his website for everyone else to see. Lately he's been looking into this AI he found that is unusual for some reason, it has to do with microwaves. Clancy asked me not to mention but I'm going to mention it anyway! Clancy said that he'll just go in later in and change it after we're done. I forgot to mention that Clancy has no sense of joy or whimsey.

Tyler - Clancy went back to his room so I guess should do Tyler. Tyler is at lab right now. He has to take chemicals from a big machine and then put them in another even bigger machine that spins them around and then he has to put them in another machine that has a really long name and shoots the chemicals with light. Tyler is chemistry major which is like what I do but with less fun classes. I get to learn all about the different frogs and salamanders (fun) and he gets to put chemicals in a big machine (not fun). Tyler is really nice though. He's like the nicest guy ever. He always takes out everyone's trash and mops the floors on the weekends. I like him more than Clancy's last roommate. He played music really loud while in the shower and one time left his trash on the floor for so long that it left a smelly residue. Gross. Clancy also did not like him and they got into arguments a lot. Clancy likes to argue with people. Tyler does not like to argue, so when Clancy tries Tyler just tells him to go to bed. Oh, and Julian just reminded me that he used to be Mormon. I'm Catholic, but I don't know very much about Mormonism.

Other Stuff >:)

Here is my objectively correct ranking of every single Breaking Bad episode

Here is a link to Reese's Etsy page. She makes really cool handmade jewelry and stuff like that. GO TO IT NOW. BUY STUFF FROM MY LOVELY PARTNER I DEMAND IT OF YOU!

Link to a silly story that Clancy and I wrote with AI (NOTE: I NO LONGER ENDORSE THE USAGE OF AI, JULIAN TOLD ME TO SAY THIS SO THAT PEOPLE KNOW THAT I THINK IT LIKE REALLY SUCKS NOW, IT'S SO BAD FOR THE ENVIRONMENT, THIS STORY IS STILL FUNNY THOUGH).